If I could do one thing for every one of my clients, it would be to erase the need for approval from anyone, including themselves. I would find some way to magically inject a feeling of 'good enough' into everyone at the start of our time together, and let it percolate throughout their system until they felt whole.
What if every decision you made in life came from that place of wholeness, of good-enough-ness? What you never worried about what others thought or would say to you about your choices? What would you be doing, and who would you be? What if you really took care of yourself as though you mattered?
Most of us haven't figured out how to let go of the idea that we aren't enough, and because of that, other people's opinions weigh heavily on us. Even when the people close to us approve of our ideas, we still shy away from doing them because who are we to think we can get what we want or pull off a big change?
A long time ago I made the decision to follow a calling to pursue singing and salsa dancing by moving to the Bay area in California. I was lucky that very few people judged me to my face, although I'm sure they were worried about the fact that I knew zero people and had no job or place to live lined up. I'll cut to the chase- it all worked out. I stayed somewhere temporarily until I found a longer lease, I got a job to pay the rent where I met my soon-to-be band mates, and I got onto a semi-professional salsa team within 6 months. Was I saving for retirement? No. Was I in a meaningful relationship? No. Did I own a house? No. I don't even think I had health insurance. But I was so happy- nothing was gnawing at me to go, to try, to express anymore. I was pursuing my passions until they no longer pursued me. My life was interesting, relatively stress-free, and I was learning every day.
I have different passions now and one of them is security. But I still take risks because frankly, they've always paid off. One of my mantras is “feel the fear and do it anyway.” My other mantra is “Why NOT me?” Maybe you're considering a small change but it feels big. If it's been pulling at you for the last several years, guess what? It won't stop. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Even if you think you're not good enough. So what? Why not you, anyway? No one "deserves" success more than anyone else. Did Britney Spears deserve success? Does Donald Trump? Do you?
If you are being called to do something, change something, or feel something, it's for good reason. And maybe you'll never be 'good enough' in your own mind to make it happen. And maybe no one around you will understand why you're doing what you want to do. Maybe you'll even fail at it. But I'm here to tell you that you can be a full on bad person and still do cool shit. You can try something, fail miserably, and then tweak it a little and succeed. You can be yourself, whomever that is, and be different than who you were yesterday. Your life is of your own design. How much are other people or so-called “society” defacto designing your life right now? If you need support to make the change and no one in your life can do that for you, I'm here.
This is simply an invitation to ask yourself where in your life you may not be totally true to yourself. What could life look like if you acted on that little voice within? Who might be inspired by you? What might you learn? And how much pain could you avoid by simply going for it, instead of hemming and hawing for years on end? Because this is it, guys, this is your life.
I promise you, almost no matter what it is, someone has done it before. And they probably lived to tell the tale. The scary, messy, exciting, imperfect, not-good-enough-but-at-least-I-tried story of their life.
Life Purpose and Career Coach
Career Clarity Now