I was on a webinar with some other coaches recently when we were asked: “What's the one thing you need to do, or you will die trying to do?” My first thought was, didn't rapper 50 Cent bring this up like, 15 years ago? And then, is there something I need to do or will die trying?
Personally, I'm not sure there is one thing. As a multi-passionate person I live multiple lives inside of this one, and that's simply what works for me. But for sure my goal is to not feel like I'm trying. I have a sign up in my house that says “Effort. Less. Effortless.” This is because I often forget I'm a human being, and find my myself being a human-doing.
Ironically I have to try to stop trying. I was attempting a quiet few minutes of mindfulness last night when I found myself planning something in my head. I stopped that once I noticed it, and a moment later found myself plotting an educational facebook post. I was literally both planning and educating in my mind, alone, in silence, in the dark!
I find this so ridiculous, and so indicative of who I am. I freaking LOVE planning and educating. I have become addicted to it, to a point that I don't know how to stop. Not a bad addiction, but it can certainly be exhausting. And I have a sneaking suspicion it's a subconscious avoidance technique that I fall back on when I don't want to feel my feelings. When 'just being' feels scary or vulnerable, or simply boring.
Most of my work involves helping people come to terms with who they really are, and then how to authentically share that with the world in a way that supports them. This involves telling the truth, not just to yourself, but to others. It may take the form of applying for the job you secretly want, but previously wouldn't let yourself apply. It may be telling your best friend that you are finally ready to start the business you've been dreaming about for the last 15 years. Maybe it's admitting that your current work culture is unhealthy and you deserve better. Or even admitting you really don't know what you want.
Regardless, I believe the only real thing we should 'die tryin' to do is be ourselves. Learn who that is, and then learn how to live that in all aspects of our lives. This isn't some feel-good unrealistic hippie dream. If you ask yourself where in your life you're out of alignment with who you really are, there are probably ways you know to get back on track. We are ALL worried we won't be accepted for who we are. That's why junior high sucks so much. Junior high never really ends- we just get better at giving ourselves permission to be who we are regardless of who's around, and get better at finding and creating environments that are more accepting.
While I have great respect for people who have that thing that they are going balls-to-the-wall for until it comes to fruition, not everyone has that thing. Some of us simply are that thing, and what we end up doing is the extension of who we are. I, too, am learning to just be myself. All the time. When you can authentically be yourself, your natural gifts come out. And then you really are a human-being, not a human-doing. And there is nothing more you need to be.
Life Purpose and Career Coach
Career Clarity Now