There are books written just about this topic, so I will do my best to keep this brief.
You're worth the thing you're trying to be, do or have.
Believing that is what will allow it to show up.
If there is something standing in your way to believing that you deserve that job, that woman, that house... something will come between you.
If you manifest it but don't truly believe you deserve it, you will lose it. Energy is attracted to similar energy. When energy gets out of alignment, the energy that showed up when you called it in will find its way out:
“He ghosted me”
“I got in a car accident the same week I got my brand new car”
“I won the lottery and had nothing left a year later”
There are endless examples of ways that people either never receive what they really want, or receive and then lose it quickly. We aren't trying to sabotage ourselves, usually, but that's what happens. When you start to manifest intentionally there will be a few points along the way that you will be able to easily sabotage what you're trying to create in your life. The only way to reliably attract the things you want to be, do, or have is to raise your vibration to meet that thing and keep it there.
How to raise your vibration to receive and KEEP what you manifested:
Get ready to receive by practicing receiving gracefully and with enthusiasm:
That's it! We've come to the end of my 5 Steps to Manifesting!
Part 1: Setting your Intention and Knowing your Why
Part 2: Understanding the Payoff to Staying Stuck
Part 3: Letting Go- The Secret Behind the Secret
Part 4: Acting as If
Part 5: The Art of Receiving
I hope you enjoyed this process and have started bringing a desire into being! And if you've ever consciously manifested something, please share!
What's the best that could happen?
We're in Part 4 of my manifesting your best life in 2019 series....Attracting what's next intentionally instead of defaulting to hoping and wishing (or worse, lamenting). If you haven't read Part 1, start there.
Act As If!
I knew I had a problem with attracting money into my life when I played the Prosperity Game and totally failed at it. Each day you have to imagine you are receiving a larger and larger sum of money, and then spend it in your mind. Back then you had to type what you wanted to buy into the website. After a few days of the game I had already run out of things I wanted to buy in my imagination. I literally didn't know what to do with that much money. I started to feel ridiculous. And selfish. Who was I to have $100,000? Right after getting $90,000? What the hell did rich people do with all that money?
This part of manifesting is really easy for some people and nearly impossible for others. That's because it can feel like playing the happiest game of pretend to some people, but it can feel like lying or selfishness to others. However you see it, acting as if something is already here, or at least coming your way, is the linchpin to manifesting.
We regularly make a case for why we can't do/be/have what we want. It takes effort to learn to make a case for why you can. Start simply with asking yourself what you want. Feel how satisfying it would be to have that supportive relationship, that high income, that house. Feel it and know that every time you are feeling it, you are resonating the energy of that thing you wish to be, do or have. It's like a homing device- when you put out that frequency it's very hard to attract negativity, to feel bad, to feel lack, or to feel frustrated. The more you can feel what it will be like to be/do/have what you want, the easier it will be to attract, create, or become it.
There is a difference between acting as if your desires are already here and simply acting (lying to yourself). When you imagine, you put out the message to the universe that it's happening. This is why Olympians and famous athletes do mental runs before they compete. It tricks their bodies into believing that they just performed their best time yet. They start to believe it's possible and begin creating that new reality. Thoughts create things. You've probably noticed how when you imagine the worst case scenario of something it increases your heart rate or makes your breathing more shallow. Your body is reacting to what it believes is really happening. So give it something positive to react to!
FEEL like you already have it. IMAGINE your life with it. PRETEND like your life depends on it. If you don't feel a little silly while doing this at first you aren't pretending hard enough- you'll get used to it. Be five years old again and flex that imagination!
Ways to intentionally attract what you want into your life:
Give your desire the kind of attention you'd give a new crush. It's front and center in your mind, has only positive associations, makes you want to talk about it to everyone, and you can't wait to see what happens next!
In Part 5 I'll talk about the art of receiving what you want once it does start to show up.
Welcome to Part 3 of a 5-part series of articles on how to manifest your desires! Five parts sounds like a lot, right? You might be thinking “I thought the law of attraction was supposed to be this easy breezy thing where where you ask and the universe just gives it to you!” Yeah, that's what I thought too after reading some irritating books like The Secret. Not so much.
Manifesting or changing your life in meaningful ways is a process that requires nurturing and effort... and more than one step. So let's get to Step 3! For those of you who missed them, here are Part 1 and Part 2.
Letting Go and Honoring Loss
So you've identified the thing you really, really want, and why you want it. You can feel how great it's going to be to have it. You've figured out why you haven't gotten it yet (your benefits to staying stuck) and you're ready to move past all of that. So what happens next?
Well, some loss of what you used to know, for one. Letting go of excuses, for two. Putting your heart and soul into it and breathing through the fear and self-doubt that will likely come up. Wah-wah.
Any time you make a change, there will be a loss of some kind- even if it's just your comfort zone. Part 3 of manifesting is where a lot of people backslide, because even if they're really excited about what they want, they realize some part of themselves or their old life is going to end in order to get it.
Familiarity is so addictive that we'll often sacrifice positive changes in order to stay the same. For example, if I want to build muscle tone I can't keep a lifestyle of not exercising. I have to leave the house and get it done. I will now have to cope with the loss of the extra time I had to myself at home (or the time I had to work, or whatever I was doing that wasn't exercise). That's a loss! That sucks! And thus, the backsliding begins. This is also known as week 3 of almost everyone's New Year's resolution. The point where continuing to do the new thing starts to feel like it's not worth it. And you know what? It isn't worth it, unless you have identified a 'why' that is so awesome, so sexy, so fulfilling, that to NOT do it feels bonkers.
Here's how to make sure you don't backslide:
1) Have a 'why' that's so exciting to you that almost any loss that results is going to be worth it.
2) Recognize and honor the loss of the life/person/job/etc you once knew as part of your growth.
Example goal: I want to make more money in 2019
Why? Because I want to buy a house that feels like a home, just for me, where I'm comfortable and safe and can have pets and cook great meals and have dinner parties. I want to decorate it exactly in my taste, and be able to have quiet reading time, and walk my dog in my beautiful neighborhood.
Oooooh. That DOES sound nice! But how else will your life change as a result of making more money? What will you have to give up, add, or destroy in the service or your goal?
6 years ago I needed to make more money for this exact reason- to buy a house. I left a job that I was very comfortable at, that wasn't particularly stressful, but I didn't make a lot of money. I took on a role that paid more, but where I was in charge of seemingly endless people. It was a HUGE change for me, and a loss that I had to mourn. I wondered all the time if I made the right decision. It was the very satisfying goal of having a home that kept me going when I felt like everything was insane.
The brilliant thing about getting something you've been working towards is that once you get there, you level up your goal setting. Next after getting the house I wanted to keep it, but work for myself-- a much bigger goal to pull off than finding a new job. But also a very compelling one that pulled me forward when I couldn't push myself anymore.
What is compelling you to move forward despite the loss that may result from the change? How will you honor and recognize the loss as part of your personal growth? I now look back at my old jobs fondly as meaningful stepping stones on the path to helping others through my business.
Not everything you manifest will come with such a degree of difficulty. Some things will be a quick adjustment, but there will still be an adjustment- even if it's to a more lavish lifestyle and the new people who will enter your life as a result. Allow yourself to change your view of you as you change your life, holding within you all the unique iterations of self that got you where you are today.
In Part 4 we'll discuss attracting what's next deliberately instead of defaulting to hoping and wishing.
Welcome to part 2 of a 5-part series of articles on how to manifest your desires!
Let's make 2019 an incredible, memorable, wildly satisfying year. We're going to get intentional together about what we really want to bring into our lives in the new year. Now let's get to Step 2! If you missed Part 1, start there.
Step 2: Why you haven't gotten what you want yet: Understanding the payoff to staying stuck
There are many reasons why you may not have manifested what you want already in life. Beliefs about what is possible for you or in life in general, your focus has been elsewhere, a health challenge, etc. But today I'm going to focus on one reason to get conscious of now so that you can start manifesting with more ease... The benefits to staying stuck!
I know, how could there be any benefits to not getting what I want? You're wondering. Oh, but there are so very many. To name a few:
Ask yourself, if I don't get what I want, how do I benefit?
Who do I get to save/not hurt?
How is my identity affected? For example, if you have believed your whole life that to be an artist you must also be poor (the starving artist), and all of your artist friends are poor, perhaps you worry that increasing your success and income could alienate them. Maybe it's better to just stay where you're at, appreciate the community you have, etc.
See how easy it is to turn your back on what you want?
I'm guilty of this too. I don't want to take responsibility for everything that I want. It's so much easier to just whine about things when they aren't going well! But there comes a point when it's time to say, you know what? I've wanted ___ for 5, 10, 20 years. I'm sick of not having it. I'm ready to let go of everything that stands in my way. This process of honestly looking at how you benefit from your own stuck-ness is a huge key to moving forward.
In my next article I'll discuss the other reality to going after your dreams- the loss of what used to be when you make any change- even if it's just your comfort zone. This is why the dream has to be bigger and more exciting than anything you're giving up in the process of getting it.
Happy New Beginnings!
Happy New Year!
This week being the start of a new year, we are in the perfect moment to pause and reflect on what we want for our lives. It's just the reset button that lots of us needed. Given how many people are ready to level up and create their best life but don't really know how, I'm doing a 5-part series of articles on how to manifest your desires. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to bring in fresh energy in 2019. Let's create a life we could barely imagine last year. It all starts with intention.
Part One: Intention
You can want something with all your heart and never get it. This may be because you are putting out the energy (and therefore vibration) of lack- of yearning. You are vibrationally saying to the universe “I believe I can't have what I want, I simply want.” Cue single violin playing at a pity party. The universe responds to this energy by continuing to give you lack, which causes more yearning. In some ways we live in a giant mirror or feedback loop, so we have to be careful about what we're expressing.
A different way to express your desires is through setting an intention and then feeling positively about it. Your desire feels like “I'm excited for what's coming my way (abundance)!” instead of “I wish I could have what I want (lack).” Getting specific about why you want what you want will help you tap into that feeling of already having it. For example, “I'm looking forward to having extra money so that I can get a dog. Dogs make me so happy.” In this case the money is in service to getting a dog, not for money's own sake. Many people experienced in the Law of Attraction express this kind of “wanting” as gratitude for what they know in their hearts is coming to them, even though it isn't there yet. They are acting as if it's already here, or as if it's on it's way. The universe “meets” this vibration with a matching vibration- the thing you were wanting to attract shows up.
So if I find myself having a scarcity mentality about money (or love, or anything really), what can I do? I don't want to keep attracting “proof” that scarcity exists, even if I believe in scarcity. I don't want to keep feeling lonely, or poor, or a general sense of lack. I want to feel abundance, but part of me also feels like abundance isn't for everyone. Won't I just be lying to myself if I start saying affirmations about how love flows to me easily and effortlessly? Won't I be disingenuous if I start telling myself I'm so excited to be rich when I truly don't believe it can happen? Well in a sense, yeah. There are better ways to go about changing your beliefs than lying to yourself.
Abraham Hicks in Ask and It is Given says to "Focus on why you want it, not on what you don't want." When you focus on why you want that unlimited love, that awesome job, that extra money, you aren't lying to yourself. You are reveling in the feeling of having what you want. This is totally different than the desire to avoid what you don't want. If you say you want to start a business because you hate being tied to your corporate job and its politics, you aren't expressing any reason to start a business. You are expressing reasons to hate your job. It's different. When you say, “I'm so excited to work my own schedule with clients I enjoy in a comfortable environment” you are actively moving towards what you want, versus simply away from something you don't want.
What do you want to move towards this year? You must have a compelling personal desire that clearly benefits you in some way. If you aren't sure what you want, but know what you don't want, write down the opposite of what you don't want. Look at it and ask yourself is that what you want? Try to be specific and positive- “I want to start a business so I'm less stressed” is stating something you want followed by something you don't want any more of. Creative energy doesn't respond to negatives. Instead try, “I am starting my business so I can share my talents with the world more directly.”
In my next articles I'll discuss each step of the manifesting process in more depth, with special emphasis on the payoff we get from not getting what we want (I know, sounds counter-intuitive, but there are concrete reasons not to get what you want).
Life Purpose and Career Coach
Career Clarity Now