Good Person Syndrome: The Real Reason Why You Don't Quit

Have you ever felt guilty about wanting to quit your job? I have. Especially when I quit my full-time job to start my coaching business. "But they NEED me!" I said to friends and family. How could I DO this to them?

And now I work with good people who are in the same boat... Sometimes too good.

How is being a good person a problem, you ask?

Well it becomes a problem when that good person feels like they can't leave the job that isn't serving them anymore for one of these reasons:

• Over-commitment to the company- "I should fix it before I go" guilt
• Caring too much about things that ultimately don't matter
• The grass might not be greener elsewhere, I should be happy with what I have
• I have to endure this. Good people endure hardship
• If I let the company decide my fate, what happens isn't my fault!
• I'm comfortable enough, why rock the boat?

I've also worked with good people who ultimately didn't want to leave their company, but because of Tall Poppy Syndrome they also weren't going for the positions they REALLY wanted within the company. Tall Poppy Syndrome is where people of high status are resented, attacked, cut down or criticized because they have been classified as superior to their peers. Aka, let's hate the popular, powerful, or rich because we're jealous (cut down the tall poppies!).

Have you ever had one of these thoughts pop through your mind?
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• I better not put a spotlight on myself by trying to get ahead.
• I don't want to fail people so I shouldn't try to advance too much.
• Will people be pleased if I'm at the top? Can I make everyone happy? I should make everyone happy.
• It's not about my success, it's about the team.
• I'm not humble if I try to get ahead.
• Everyone hates management, so I better not become management.

What's been going on with these Good Person and Tall Poppy beliefs is that they have you between a rock and a hard place. If you stay, you're resigning yourself to playing it small, not living up to your potential, not being recognized, and not making the money you want.

If you go, you have practically decided that means you're a bad person. I mean, really: If you leave and didn't fix everything, what does that say about you? If you aren't 'enduring' your work anymore, what does that say about you? If you make a resume that highlights who you really are, and not just what you have been trained in, aren't you bragging?

See what I mean? I wouldn't leave my job either. It takes an incredibly brave person to finally admit the beliefs and fears that have been operating under the disguise of being a good person and consider acting on them.

Here's the thing: You ARE a good person. And you're a good employee. Even if you leave. Even if you don't fix everything. Even if you leave your team in the lurch. No, really. You will still be You, the Good Person, even if you're unemployed! But You the Good Person deserves to feel like a valued member or leader of a team and get recognized for it. Don't you agree? People ask for a lot more than that every day. You deserve to be met at the level you're contributing, not working for other's advancement! Let's not martyr ourselves and stagnate our personal growth under the guise of being a good person. You don't have to prove that you're a good person to anyone, even YOURSELF!

You already know you're a good person. Give yourself permission to be a good person who acts out of what's good for YOU, not your company. You'll never regret leaving a position that didn't serve your highest good. But you will regret years lost to inaction because you were 'too good' to do anything else.

I never regretted my decision to quit once I left (and neither will you), because I was finally taking care of ME. You're never a bad person for taking good care of yourself.