Lost and Found

In general I don’t trust people who have never been lost. I mean, Who Am I, What Am I Doing Here lost.  If you never had to find yourself, never wrestled with who you really are or questioned your lot in life you missed some great opportunities. By all means, stride forth with the certainty that yes, you are a doctor, and do your medical schooling and get out there and do your passion. But I feel a little sad for you that you never were forced to get to know yourself on the level that is only possible when you are truly questioning what you are doing here on this planet.

As a Life Purpose and Career Coach I get to work with people who are feeling stuck, lost, or as though they are just going through the motions. Some of them feel bad about where they’re at, like they are subjecting me to this horrible fate they are stuck with and they shouldn’t have hired me in the first place because their misery will just bring me down. I find this hilarious. For one, the client isn’t giving themselves much credit for how much work they’ve already done just by committing to hiring a coach. For two, the farther down the rabbit hole you are (as one client likes to say), the more satisfying it will be for me to help guide you out of there.  

 Working with someone who feels lost is also a great privilege, because it means I often get to be there when the clouds start to part and the sun starts shining. While it may not be fun for the client at first, as the coach I can see what lies ahead. It’s incredibly exciting. One of the best gifts you can give me as a coach is a look of hope dawning across your face. It’s like you just found where you are on the map and it all makes sense again. Some people want to just hunker down right there and call it a day. “I know where I am! I can just stay here and I’ll be safe!” Personally I wouldn’t want to live at the border of the US and Mexico just because I know where it is. I need a reason to stay there. And it better be good!

But it’s tempting to live in that space of potential, that Maybe I Could Do _______! When you live there you never get saddled with the fear of failure that comes with trying. This may sound weird coming from a coach, but I don’t want you to live your potential. I want you to live your real life dreams.  As messy as they may be.

You’ll have to ask yourself hard questions, which you were probably hoping were left behind once you realized what you really wanted to do. Questions like “Am I really any good at ________ (law, petting zoo ownership, whatever). And maybe even “What was I thinking?!” But of course, the success is in the trying. The success is in the “failing” at whatever you thought you’d like to do, but you realize something big about yourself in the process. The success is the pride that comes with figuring it out. And the success is learning to have fun and relax, even when you know you’re going to have to try something else. That’s the Life Purpose Process, if you ask me.

So get lost. Go ahead. Screw up a little. And when you are really ready to discover your purpose, your joy and vocation, give me a call. Bring your misery, your confusion, your lost dreams. Bring your fear of failure and fear of success. We can unpack that too. I look forward to climbing up the rabbit hole with you.